I’ve had a few distinct situations in my life recently that vividly showed me that we aren’t alone.  I wish I’d been more vocal in expressing my frustration and my feelings because I would have saved myself quite a bit of trouble.

Don’t question your skills, seek insight from someone who understands.

A few years ago, I transitioned into a new job.  I knew the company and the culture, but the job was a huge learning experience for me.  My boss, at the time, made sure to point out my mistakes at every turn.  And she wasn’t nice or professional about it.  She made me feel like I didn’t know how to do anything, including my job (that she hired me to do).

I’d been suffering silently for a while – was I really incompetent? I didn’t feel incompetent, but maybe that is how incompetent people feel?

When my boss left the company suddenly, it all came out.  Others felt the same way I did, they didn’t understand what the boss had wanted and she seemed to confuse many people in my department and other departments.  I wish I had asked others how they were feeling much earlier – it would have saved me many sleepless nights and eliminated days filled with anxiety.  You are not alone and you deserve to have a job that makes you feel valuable.

Don’t compromise your health, get professional help when you need it.  

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been getting more tired and more cold each day.  To the point that I’ve been wearing layers to bed and coming home from work and lying on the couch all night.  I felt like I’d never be warm again and I could barely move because I was so tired.

I knew I didn’t feel right, but I thought it was just a phase.  After some blood work at the doctor’s office, it turns out I’m anemic (again) and I have hypothyroidism (extra slow metabolism/underperforming thyroid).  It never crossed my mind that something was really wrong – I wish I’d talked to a doctor much earlier and gotten the help I needed sooner. If you are struggling with a health-related issue, talk to a doctor or a qualified professional. You are not alone and deserve to get the help you need.

Don’t ignore that nagging feeling, talk to others about your life.

We moved into our new house in August, and it has been wonderful.  It’s a beautiful Victorian house that is turning 100 this year.  We love this house.  Except, I haven’t felt settled since we’ve moved in – and it’s been many months. Too many months.

And then one day, my husband was talking to friends and made a comment in passing that he hasn’t felt settled in the house since we moved in.  I stopped in my tracks – what a relief! As we talked about our life in this house, we realized why we both felt unsettled.  We moved in, put things away, hosted holiday events and immediately began construction that is still in progress.  We haven’t settled in yet. I wish I’d talked to him about this so much earlier – knowing he felt the same way really put my mind at ease. You are not alone and deserve to feel at peace in your life.

I don’t often talk things out with others and I’m starting to realize that I may need to change my ways.  By keeping these situations and feelings to myself, I’ve caused myself unnecessary stress, lost sleep and nearly caused a serious health issue.  I don’t know what you’re struggling with right now, but learn from my mistakes.  Talk to someone else about how you’re feeling and what is going on in your life.  You are valuable, you are loved and you are not alone.